To Montreal, with love BY TERESA BUDASI - Chicago Sun Times

Chicago Sun-Times, IL, February 12, 2006
http://www.suntimes.com/output/travel/tra-news-montreal12.html
Travel
To Montreal, with love
BY TERESA BUDASI Staff Writer Copyright by The Chicago Sun Times

MONTREAL -- The bride wore red. The other bride wore black and white. Hand in hand, they led a parade of loved ones down Rue St. Jacques on a resplendent Canada morning.

It was their wedding day, and it was about time.

Have you ever known a couple who've been together forever -- five, six, seven, maybe even 10 years -- and you wonder why they don't just get married already, especially if they've gone ahead and started a family?

I have such friends, the aforementioned brides, who last year decided to make it legal -- or as legal as it can be when you live in a country that doesn't allow same-sex marriage. For that reason, they decided to make theirs a destination wedding.

"We chose Quebec because it was one of the Canadian provinces that elected to extend civil rights to gays and lesbians," said Malvene Collins of Chicago, who wed her partner of nine years, Mary Ward, in Montreal last August. (In July of last year, same-sex marriage became legal in all of Canada.)

The couple chose Montreal in particular because of their shared love of the French language and culture. Both Mary and Malvene had lived in France for a time in their younger years, long before they met, and have since returned there together.

In planning the event, Malvene did most of the legwork online. She contacted the folks at the Palais du Justice, where the ceremony would take place, and through simple e-mail correspondence took care of getting the proper documentation in order.

"There were no legal channels, per se, as the people of Canada took care of that," she said. "It just involved procedural steps; the same steps as anyone else. That feeling is really quite satisfying. No special name for it. Just civil marriage."

There may be no special name, but it was definitely as special an occasion as anyone involved has ever experienced. From the moment of arrival in the city, friends and family that attended the wedding could feel a vibe that can really only be described as special.

"Montreal was most welcoming," remarked Mary's mother, Elizabeth Ventura of Wadsworth. "The people were kind and gracious, warm and friendly. Their hearts were open to us."

The couple chose to centralize the event in the city center of Old Montreal because of its historic aesthetic and its proximity to the Palais. They pored over several Web sites to find hotels, restaurants and sights to see, so that those who were traveling weren't bogged down with details and could merely enjoy themselves upon arrival.

The guest list included immediate family and several close friends, and with the exception of Malvene's father, who couldn't physically make the trip, and her sister, who was detained by Hurricane Katrina in Miami just days before it hit New Orleans, everybody made it. There were 19 in the party.

Friday was arrival day, the plan being to meet for dinner at Boris Bistro, which the night desk clerk at Hotel XIXe Siecle, where I and two friends stayed, assured us was tres bon (very good). He was right; the weather was perfect, the food was fantastic and the company even better.

"The restaurant that first night, with the outdoor courtyard, the table ... there's a word to describe that scene," recalled Mary's brother Dan Ward, who made the trip from Madison, Wis. "The only word that comes to mind is 'idyllic.' "

A leisurely group stroll back to our respective hotels, all within walking distance of the restaurant and one another, allowed us to take in Old Montreal after dark. Clean and well-lit, the cobblestone streets and centuries-old gray stone buildings, rich with architectural detail, added a rich layer to the decidedly European flavor of the evening.

The next day, on that gorgeous and sun-drenched Saturday morning, everyone regrouped at Hotel Place d'Armes (the brides' hotel), which sits across from a quaint little plaza, where vendors sell flowers and fruit, folks rest on benches to chat, read or feed the birds, and tourists snap pictures of the majestic Notre-Dame Basilica.

The parade down Rue St. Jacques ended at the Palais du Justice, where the ceremony took place.

Everything was ready when we arrived. Chairs were set up, with an aisle up the middle, flowers adorned the room, a sound system was in place, and framed photos of the couple's 2-year-old twins, Elizabeth and Isaac, who did not make the trip, were placed on the judge's bench facing outward, so their parents could see them.

The sounds of Billie Holiday singing "Embraceable You" was enough to cue the tears as Mary and Malvene walked down the aisle.

It was the judge's first-ever English-language ceremony, and though her accent was thick and French -- a subtle reminder of where we were and the importance of the event -- her words were completely understood.

"The language of the ceremony seemed to zero in on the very human dimensions of marriage," said Mary's sister Adrienne Ward of Charlottesville, Va. "What two people are promising to one another, and what society expects, and what they're promising to society as a married couple -- that's what it's all about.

"She spoke of the responsibility to each other and raising children within the union and about society helping you along with this commitment," she continued. "When you take out the gender aspect and the religious aspect, it gets to the core of what really matters."

"[City officials] handled everything beautifully," said Malvene's mother, Maryanne Collins of Franklin Park. "The room was beautiful, and they were so accommodating. It wasn't like an everyday thing. They made it special."

She was equally enamored of the city and its visible energy.

"You'd think a city so far north wouldn't have so much outdoor stuff going on," she said. "It was just wonderful."

"The best thing about Montreal, beside the fact that it looked like a miniature Paris, were the people -- so welcoming," Mary said. "And the cab drivers! You felt like every one was your brother."

Maryanne concurred: "We asked a cab driver to take us somewhere exciting -- and he did!"

Speaking of ... a fleet of cabs awaited us after the wedding to whisk us to a different neighborhood for the luncheon reception. We had another fantastic meal at L'academie, where the wine flowed amid funny stories, hearty laughs and heartfelt toasts.

Everyone was on their own to explore for the rest of the afternoon. A meeting place was set -- an Irish pub in the McGill University neighborhood -- to reconvene that night and tell of our individual travels.

Some cabbed back to their hotels to take naps; some opted to walk back and take in the scenery; some went back and trolled the streets of Old Montreal, with its many boutiques, restaurants and galleries.

I attended 5 o'clock mass at Notre Dame. Entering a cathedral in a foreign city was not a new experience for me, but walking in as a churchgoer and not as a tourist was. The statuary, the splendorous domed ceiling and stained glass windows, not to mention the intricate architectural details, were not what struck me most. It was the mass itself, which was said in French -- not a lick of English. I didn't understand much, language-wise, but I was able to follow along, as prayer cadences were eerily similar. It was beautiful and comforting.

That was my story.

Everyone had a story -- all different, all lovely, and all with the underlying agreement that Montreal was kind of magical.

"In a word, captivating," Dan Ward said. "Montreal is a great city, and I don't think I speak only for myself. The people went out of their way to be friendly, especially given the circumstances of the weekend. We had a lot of special requests.

"There are a lot of places I've been that I wouldn't go back to," he said. "But Montreal is definitely a place I intend to revisit."

To be sure, the same enchantment resonates for Mary and Malvene, who will most remember that their family and friends all came together to celebrate an official recognition of their love.

"Even though it's nine years after we made our commitment to each other ... we never thought it would make such a difference, but it does," Malvene said.

"And when the celebrant called us Mrs. and Mrs., it was so fun and merry and hopeful. Who could forget such a moment?

"Montreal is a remarkable town -- beautiful, lively, brimming with people from all over the globe, and the feel of a place on the verge of perfection," she said. "Of course, we were married there -- welcomed, in fact -- so we could be biased. We will be biased forever."

Sidebar: IF YOU GO

Malvene Collins and Mary Ward planned their destination wedding largely via the Internet. Here is a list of helpful Web sites they consulted:


For civil ceremony information: www.justice.gouv.qc.ca Tourist information (hotels, sightseeing): www.vieux.montreal.qc.ca

Restaurants: www.montreal food.com andwww.chowhound. com/canada/ boards/montreal/montreal.html


GAY MONTREAL

Montreal has one of the largest gay communities in the world. "The Village," as it's referred to by the locals, has a reputation for not only a wild night life, but also its thriving cultural scene, with cafes, bars, boutiques and galleries lining the streets. There also are several festivals throughout the year.


For more information: www.montrealgayvillage.com or www.pinkagenda.com/travel/montreal.html